Thursday, June 14, 2007

Are you safe? Because no one is...

I'm still supposed to be on my hiatus, and I'm raring to get back on the blogging (war)path but I simply don't have anything to blog about! So what better way to ease back into the blogosphere than by doing a couple of tags? You guys lup me so much you still tag me even though I'm away, eh? Well, I lup you all too, so here is the easiest of the tags... a virgin tag from Paris Beaverbanks!

You guys ready for a ride? The Imperial Spindoctor is in the house! Woohoo!

The story goes like this... Ms. Beaverbanks was mistaken for the more famous Ms. Hilton (because they share the same first name) and was rumored to have developed a serious disease. *gasp* *shock* *horror* No! *hears the gossip mill crank up a notch* And since the infamous Ms. Hilton is currently sitting in the slammer, one can only guess at what kind of infectious disease was picked up. Maybe it will require a shaving ceremony much like Ms. Spears? Hmm... I can already see the scrimmage on eBay for bits of those famous golden blonde hair extensions. What's that you say? Oh. This wasn't part of the story. Sor-wee... I got diverted by juicy celebrity goss... Must be because I joined the Giddy Tiger blur-blur tei club. LOL!

Now where was I? Oh yes, so of course Ms. Beaverbanks had to issue a web statement to deny that fact strongly and any remote association with Ms. Hilton (it was a simple case of mistaken identity). But she did reveal a shocking truth in her statement. She's got the dreaded Blogivitis virus!
( psst... I hear it came from Wuching... o.0 ) *hears screams as the crowd scatters*

Now now, calm down folks. It's not very infectious unless you don't have the necessary antibodies to fight it off. But the thing is, this virus creeps up on you so slowly that you don't know you're infected until you are. And if you are, saints help you... there is no known cure. I repeat, no known cure. Doctors
are baffled by this epidemic that only affects a portion of society known as bloggers. (According to a certain Malaysian minister of Information, bloggers are evil. They spread lies and are mostly unemployed women. So if you are male and employed, chances are higher that you won't be infected unless you happen to be a prolific thinking blogger like this guy.) So what can you do to protect yourself? Check against this list of symptoms to see if you have been infected...

You KNOW you've GOT Blogivitis if you:

1. Turn on your computer/laptop/PDA/whatever-it-is-you-use-to-connect-to-the-Internet the first thing in the morning when you wake up. Your early morning thoughts are likely to be: Are there new posts to chup? Anything interesting to read? Has my comment on x's blog been responded to yet? I wonder how many comments have popped up on my website since I went to sleep...

2. You find yourself schlepping around your cameraphone
or digicam everywhere you go (even to the mamak!) in hopes of capturing something blogworthy that you can blog about. It doesn't matter when, where, how or even who is with you, you MUST get that photo and quick. You may even take several photos of the same subject in an effort to get the best looking angle in the right light setting. If you have an extreme case of infection, you automatically grin and pose (even funny looking ones like a^ben did here) when you spy someone taking your mugshot. Super-extreme cases (which are unsaveable! = mou tak kau) will upgrade their equipment to the latest DSLR camera or what-not in search of that holy grail - the perfect picture.

3. You walk around in a perpetual state of primed awareness, ready to pick up on the slightest hint of anything remotely bloggable, be it the fact that you sneezed six times today (could it be something?) or that you had kali kai for lunch, dinner and supper
(and thus make everyone drool together with you) or even that guy who was obnoxiously rude to you. Yes, even the smallest things are magnified when you succumb to Blogivitis.

4. You lust after tags - tagging and being tagged. Of course, this is limited to certain patients only who find a great deal of pleasure in the tag game. There are many methods of dealing with the side effects of tags. The normal thing would be to do the tag and tag others. Some, do tags but kill them after. Some, refuse to do tags. :o) Some, pick up tags even when no one has tagged them. Some, forget they are tagged. But after all, to tag means to be loved, hor? And so, tags are routinely swopped around the blogosphere into infinity.

5. You twit. No no, I'm not calling you a twit. Another rare side effect of Blogivitis is to twit using Twitter. Short, sporadic bursts of the Blogivitis virus are exhibited in the 140 character messaging system known as Twitter. This allows the person instant relief when an entire blog entry is not necessary. Twits can be informative, rambly or just plain nonsensical. You twit when you feel like it. You twit about the weather. The food. The people. Think of it as the Tiny URL answer to the blogpost.

6. You debate the benefits of various RSS readers (Google Reader, Bloglines, Safari)
just so that you can get your itchy fingers on that all-elusive first place chup at l b's / may's / any THHC resort blogwide. Extreme cases may also debate on the pros and cons of viewing certain websites in different browsers.

7. You display actual physical symptoms of Blogivitis. Increased heart rate when you spy an unchupped post. Stress levels go up if you miss that all-important chup. Rapid eye blinks so as not to miss out on a latest post. Nervous finger twitches when you constantly refresh your screen / RSS reader. Dark eye circles / bags caused by getting too little sleep the night before because you were busy blog-hopping. You refuse to eat breakfast / lunch or dinner away from your computer. You sacrifice sleep to the bare minimum, earning you the title of Ultimate Chupper and zombiehead.

8. You begin speaking a strange new language. Liu liu! Teh-kors! *piaks*! Chup chop! Boing boing! Hug Hug! B O C O R! Neh! BBs! Moo moos! So powderful, hor? So YAATTAAA!!! Normal words take on very different meanings... like milk. Lor mai kai. CCF. Butt(s). Pinches. And if you have a most extreme case, you develop a split personality... like l b/Emperor. And kyh/brad. Or angel/angie/princess appearl. With may/Concubine M. And patient 0 of multiple personalities - misti/mistipurple/moisti/jaga/Concubine C/milkmaid/mermaid/moo/wolf. Even canines are not spared - e.g. Liucas/Tiucas.

9. And in a mutation of the Blogivitis virus, there are those who have gone over to the Dark Side. You can tell the difference immediately between Dark Side Blogivitis and normal Blogivitis. Those infected are the ones with the PPP badges, the Nuffnang ads and the Advertlets squares. They are Google Adsensed to the last degree and PayPal enabled. A whole new vocabulary is used to describe their symptoms. They talk of sidebar skyscraper ads and the intricacies of multiplying your pay-per-clicks. Affiliates are those who were infected by others already from the Dark Side. Kinda like Dracula, yea? This mutation is only found in people who already have Blogivitis and lack the money antibody.

10. In order to cope with the many myriad symptoms of Blogivitis, support groups have been formed. Known as the collective blogosphere or blog communities by others, those infected band together to comment on the latest developments in this mysterious epidemic and how to best cope in living life with Blogivitis. Remember, if you are one of those fortunate ones, you are not alone! There are others out there with you! Let us unite and YAATTAAA together! \(^.^)/

So now that you know the dangers and symptoms of Blogivitis, I do hope that you'll be more aware of what's happening in the blogosphere and that you'll do all it takes to continue to perpetuate it. We need more Blogivitis junkies/zombies/crazed fan-sees in this world. Do your part and spread the news (by listing out your individual 10 symptoms of Blogivitis), I'm doing mine by infecting the following people:

~ pinkelle - because she loves pink and has blonde moments just like elle woods
~ simple american - I know he's super busy but still I'm tagging him just because he is the king of memes and no meme should ever bypass him
~ l b - because me is his fan-see and all thanks to THHC my Blogivitis rapidly increased to an extreme stage! Wahahahaha!
~ ehon - because one tag deserves another, ah boy didi... I promise I will get to work on your tag as soon as I can install Photoshop on my lappie
~ leonard - because I'm disguising it as a welcome present to THHC! Hehehehe.

Remember, there is no cure! *grin*

Wokay... I'm all blogged out now... but it was an absolutely fun tag to do! Thanks ParisB! *muacks*

Hope you guys enjoy it! No offense, ya? All intended in jest only... *ducks any missiles and brickbats*



23 spins:

ParisB said...

mwahahaha.... I loved the way you wrote it. Yep. All symptoms of the dreaded virus. No known cure. Withdrawal symptoms if there is no computer/laptop/internet connection. :) Thanks for doing the tag Rinnah! There's no hiatus ;)

cutiepie said...

chup 1st .. read in a bit .. dun get angry ya!!! *huggies*

LB said...

OMG! I need Antivirus! I'll have to come back to this later, at lunchtime! LOLOLOL.... Yeah, blame me for all that B O C O R!

Anonymous said...


ehon said...

i will get back to this soon. soon!! lol.

busy lar now. :( saddening mann.. eveliday face computer n books only. wana die liao.

L B said...

Bocor!! Bocor!!! Die, how to do thie meme, when everything's gonna be the same, more or less? Have to invent up some new virus, maybe! LOLOLOL... Bocor loh! Really bocor.. So BOCOR! But at least this one is not as bad as the iBeauty one that Pinkelle tagged me with! That one nothing to bocor with in the first place..

angel said...

*clap clap clap*
*in awe*

Leonard said...

OMG! what a welcome present tag!

i was at a lost on reading what you've posted until i read what was posted by parisb!

actually i've done such reflection of being a blogger some months ago.

hmm... maybe i'll read through that post again and do some revamping for this tag reply.

Give me time, okie?? you know i'm slow with tags! haha

Chen said...

Hahaha, hope u will recover from Blogivitis soon. All the best ya. I can give u an injection to cure the disease if u r desperate :P

zewt said...

prolific thinking blogger eh? :)....

thanks for introducing me to parisbeaver... nice blog there...

added: aiyooo... lose the word verification la... i tried to comment 3 times already... all not going through cos of the word verification thingy.

giddy tiger said...

LOL - This Blogivitis is really infectious! Sounds a lot like that Zombie Apoclaypse SA was writing about recently!

kyh said...

whee! thank goodness i hv the latest antivirus system and firewall protection! no tag is funnnn!!! MUAHAHAA!

may said...

thankfully I've stopped at 7 out of 10 symptoms! and maybe reducing to 6, if I could shake off #3. maybe it's better not to be fully cured after all, eh? ;-)

Wennnn said...

Aiyoooo sei lor I am very much infected liao lor.. Can help or not ah????

Simple American said...

Acknowledging my 'sponsibility. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

happy friday!!!!

pinkelle said...

YIKES! Thanks for the tag! Quickly come back into blogsphere! :)

narrowband said...

Haha, this one is nice. Macam describing me. Most of it lar. Lokter lokter.... Got cure or not? Or will the virus ever subside? Life-threatening ma? I sked...!! :(

may said...

hey SpinDoctor!! angel TAGGED you with my tag... enjoy! ;)

rinnah said...

parisb: 5 symptomatic hugs for you!!!

Thank you! I loved doing this tag... hahaha... Yup, incurable disease this is... gotta let nature run its course and see if the body takes care of itself.

cutiepie: 3 chup-chup hugs for you!!

No worries, take your time reading it! (I know it's a fairly long post...) You're exhibiting symptom 7 of Blogivitis, btw. Hehehe.

l b: 1 antivirus hug for you!

Come back anytime you want! Blogivitis will be waiting for you. LOL!

misha: Misha mei mei has the antibodies, ya? Happy Friday, mish! You must be back in KL by now... in Nirwana, having banana leaf rice...

ehon: Studies first, k? Don't worry... the Blogivitis has already taken hold of you... exam time also still posting! Wahahahaha!

l b: Ah! The Chairman returneth! No die yet... do the meme first! Hehehe. Just put your own symptoms lah... everyone reacts differently to Blogivitis mah. LOL! BOCOR is your new craze instead of YATTA?

angel: Tenkiu! Tenkiu! *takes a bow*

leonard: Hehehe... to tag means to lup mah...

Take your time with it... no hurry!

chen: I thought there is no cure for Blogivitis? Hehehe... What is in your injection?

zewt: Ya... Neh... *point point* other ppl gave you the award mah. Just publicizing it summore.

Your wish is my command: Word verification gone!

giddy tiger: LOL! I'm waiting to see your symptoms...

How smart of you to have picked up that I was writing it in the theme of SA's Zombie Apocalypse! You're the only one who did!

kyh: Are you sure your antivirus is up-to-date and your firewall is impervious?

Aha... don't be too certain no tags are coming your way... long time I never brew you my cafe au lait hor? *naughty grin*

may: 7 out of 10? That sounds like a pretty serious case! *wink* Where's the iDoc? Need that injection? I guess we would never want to be fully cured of Blogivitis, just not be so extremely infectious! Hehehe.

wennnn: Aiyooo... no cure for this Blogivitis worrr... unless... you throw away your computer and website! Kekekekekeke!

simple american: I was infected before I knew it! *grin* I want more hugs! *hug hug hug*

misha: Happy Friday, kiddo! *hug hug*

pinkelle: You're most welcome to it! I'm sure you have a bit of Blogivitis in you somewhere, ya?

I'm back... I think! LOL!

narrowband: Hehehe... if describing you then must be serious case liao... Doctor chen says she got injection for this, but dunno whether it works or not... LOL!

may: I saw! I saw! I shall work on that next... hehehe. Tag month of June!

zewt said...

woooaahh... it's really gone! thanks... commenting is now made easy :)

rinnah said...

zewt: Gone gone gone with the wind! So comment more, ya? *wink*

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