Tuesday, March 20, 2007

T is for Tag!


The Imperial Doctor™ needed to (tag someone) check out the credentials of the Imperial Press Spokesperson™ (aka the Imperial Spindoctor™. Wahahahaha!) to ensure that I know my proper A-B-Cs and am not a reporter stringing along for my big break. Wah... don't play play you know, background also must check one... for the safety of the Emperor, we must make sure that nothing scandalous is written about the inside life of the Imperial Palace™. (Besides that which has already been published in The 48 Concubines™ blog-serial , but I assure you, that is highly fictionalized. Nothing of the sort happened in the Imperial Palace™. Yes, nothing happened. I have no comment on anything else you may want to ask.)

Anyway, as I was saying, the background check involved some sort of (tag) test on my knowledge of A-B-Cs. Being a part of the Imperial Palace™, I answered the (tag) test based upon my insider knowledge. These are my answers in bold (ignore comments within brackets - it is pure speculation. Or maybe not). Chen, I pass the test boh???

A is for Apple™ (the Emperor's favorite food)
B is for Ben (aka Prince Moh, the Emperor's only son, who was rumored to be after Concubine W, but is now with Vai Ling, whoever that is)
C is for Concubine C (she of the 69 skills to keep the Emperor happy and trendsetter of bustiers and turbans as Imperial fashion)
D is for Dog (of which there are two - Master Liucas and Ah Boy)
E is for Empress (who remains as yet unknown and may be moving behind the scenes to create more drama)
F is for Fainting (which has yet to happen in The 48 Concubines™ but is likely to happen. There are so many women there!)
G is for Gold (namely the Imperial double bling-bling... I wonder if the Emperor ever takes it off?)
H is for Hairball (the mysteries of which I have yet to unravel. It promises to have the making of a bestseller.)
I is for Io Ka Chng (the specialty of Prince Moh, when he's not busy baking [or looking for Concubine W] being with Vai Ling)
J is for Jokes (belly aching jokes, good jokes, naughty jokes, dirty jokes, bawdy jokes, Aggie jokes... provided by Simple American, when he's not being the go-to man for the Emperor)
K is for Captain™ kyh (who may or may not be having a crush on Concubine A. That is highly debatable and highly scandalous and potentially defamatory, if not deadly... around here the slightest hint of suspicion could mean the appearance of the Imperial Executioner™!)
L is for L B (the Emperor of all he sees, with more than 48 concubines at his beck and call)
M is for Concubine M (who initiated the silk robe fashion with her blue blue tei creation)
N is for Neh (used by the Emperor to point at others. For more info on how to use this phrase, see Episode Seven)
O is for O (with multiple meanings. Like - Oh! Oooh! Oops! Ouch! as uttered from time to time by the characters)
P is for Potong Stim (which is how the Emperor reacted when his beloved concubines ganged up on him to deny him his favorite foods under the [hasutan - Malay word for instigated] instructions of the Imperial Doctor™)
Q is for Queue (seen everywhere, everytime a new episode of The 48 Concubines™ is published)
R is for Robe (see definition under S)
S is for Silk Robe (the current fashion of the Imperial Palace™, a must have for any concubine)
T is for Turban (favored headgear of the Emperor, but only when placed on head by Concubine C)
U is for U = General viewing (the rating that the media is giving The 48 Concubines™ in an effort to [dupe] draw in more readers. Please be informed that you will have to get your latest episodes from legal sources only. Uncle Ho has not been given license to reproduce the series.)
V is for Vanilla (the intoxicating scent used by Concubine M)
W is for Concubine W (who is seen in THAT scene from Episode Four and implicated in Episode Seven for having an affair(s). And for drooling over Entertainer Wang.)
X is for X-Rated (oops! You didn't hear that from me! But yes, certain episodes of The 48 Concubines™ are steamy and hawt!)
Y is for Yoga (of the flying sort as practised by the Empress. Helps her to think up devious plots and ignore the Emperor's indiscretions.)
Z is for Zzzz... (which is something that seldom happens in the Imperial Palace™)

Since this is such a confidential meme, I won't be (tagging anyone) forcing others to take the test. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some spin-doctoring to do. I hear there's a bush fire happening in the Imperial Palace™. Tsk tsk tsk!

Disclaimer: The persons and events named above are purely fictionalized and the reader is discouraged from attaching any notions and misconceptions to the article above. Violaters of this disclaimer will be locked up in chains awaiting a Royal Decree™ or Royal Pardon™. Don't say I didn't warn you!

16 spins:

L B said...

Ok, first thing first: CHUP

L B said...

OMG! You REALLY are so good at this!!! There wasn't any mistake in conferring upon you the Royal Title of Imperial Press Spokesperson™ at all!! However, where is the Imperial Executioner in all this? The Siu Kiong?.. Aha!! Apart from that, you have summed it all up so impressively.

Now, I have to do my tag too *sigh*

may said...

wahahahahaha!! Neh!! Neh!! *points* I think I'll give you all my tags in the future, regardless whether you've done it before or not. guarantee sure submit homework wan!

*rolls along on the Imerial iBed™...*

Chen said...

laff first...
kkkkkkkkkkk

Chen said...

Wah.. I'm truly amazed :D
how much time u spent doing this post ah?
Bravo :D
*applause*

angel said...

WAAAAA!!! Are you a scriptwriter or something??? Really, you ARE a SPINNER! LOL!

kyh said...

wahhhh!!!!! a few minutes late to chup! how can????

Simple American said...

Wahlau! I think I violated the disclaimer. Probably 48 times. *flees for the hills*

Chen said...

lupa cakap, u pass the test with flying colours ;)

LB said...

Oops... I was blind, but now I see... the Imperial Executioner™ standing ominously by right beside Captain™ kyh!!

kyh said...

U're a wonderful writer i must say! What's ur job? Script writer? Journalist? Author? J K Rowling? LOL LOL!!!

Gr8 job here. Would tag u more next time! I'm impressed!

rinnah said...

l b: 5 emperor chups for you!!!

**********
l b: Tee hee hee! The role of Siu Kiong needs to be expanded upon by Captain™ kyh in the next episode...

I await your tag eagerly!

**********
may: 3 neh neh chups for you! *points back*

I very conscientious mah... cannot sleep with tags hanging over my head. *giggle*

**********
chen: 1 laff chup for you!

**********
chen: Not that long, I guess. Maybe 40 mins? The writing itself was easy, the posting harder because Blogger was giving me problems with the formatting.

Tengkiu! Tengkiu! *bows*

**********
angel: I'm a wannabe scriptwriter... always wanted to write my own novel. :o)

*spin spin spin*

**********
kyh: Ahahaha... you must have been distracted by something else... let others have the opportunity to chup lah... next post you chup, ok?

**********
simple american: Uh-oh! I have a written confession here! Guards!

*troop goes to patrol the hills*

**********
chen: Hee hee hee! I got A from the Doctor! I got A from the Doctor!

*goes to publish advertisement in the Star*

**********
l b: Ahhh! Finally you noticed the Imperial Executioner™ in his walk-on role... jeng jeng jeng!

**********
kyh: Thanks! *blush* I wanted to be an author when I was little, but people said M'sia got no hope for authors. Maybe I will do a J K Rowling and write a bestseller in my free time! *wink*

I like tags, actually! Can always SPIN™ it in some other way...

Ahahaha. Hope I haven't put my foot in it by saying this. Nanti everyone will be tagging me left right and center!

Simple American said...

*peeks from bushes*

*ducks and then runs summore summore.

rinnah said...

*passes by later and peers suspiciously at the bushes*

Hmm... looks like someone was here not too long ago...

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