Inactivity

I realize that I've been very inactive of late - in almost every part of my life. And all this inactivity has led me to slow down tremendously. I talk slower, eat slower, think slower, drive slower, I even walk slower! *imagines an upside-down sloth in the jungle* The only upside to all this inactivity is that the pace of life is very much less hectic and stressed (except for the very brief periods of stress in the office daily).

I think the effect of all this inactivity is showing, because I am getting lazy! Lazy to think much. Lazy to do much. Just what I need to do to get through the day. I still haven't found my aim in life, so there isn't much spark to get me going to do what I need to do and go to the places I should go. I thought I would enjoy this time of inactivity after the stresses of the past three years, but now I find that I actually long for something meaningful and productive to do. Like my life and my work actually mean something to somebody somewhere.

I didn't use to be like this. Three years ago I was on a mission - to study and get my degree while simultaneously working. I had plans to get a car, plans to change jobs. All of which I accomplished in short order because I set my mind to it. Now that it's been there, done that, I don't know what else to do.

So my gear's in neutral and I'm just coasting along. I'm waiting for the next road sign to come up and see if I should turn off or not. Or maybe I should draw my own map and go where I want to go. If I know where I want to go, that is.