Monday, April 21, 2008

Being punctual is not a fault!

I am extremely upset with certain people. Pray tell me, how can this lateness factor be simply laughed away? (For a better understanding of why I rant, please read the post at the link above before continuing.)

Just now at 9.20am in the midst of conversation about Saturday's trip, VW said this to me...

"You know ah, next time, you shouldn't be so early one. When you're going out with my friends, you must understand that they're older and not likely to be on time. We have this understanding that the meeting time is not fixed in stone and you should just find a nearby coffeeshop or something, have a teh tarik and chill out while waiting. Don't wait at the specified meeting point. That way you won't get so agitated while waiting or if there's a delay. And there's always a delay, knowing them. Some more it's a weekend kind of expedition, no need to be so on time one. We should take it easy and enjoy la."

Note: All the bolded emphasis is mine.

What the (@&#*&%#&^&@*#@) on earth is this kind of attitude? Aitelyu, I have just lost all my respect for VW and her friends as people (over this issue and also see the food issue below). And then on the other hand, there's XY's driver, SS. Do you know what SS said? (SS was standing next to me when VW said all the above.)

*patting me consolingly on the arm like I've been a small kid who's throwing a temper tantrum* "Aiyah, we would have gone to a nearby coffeeshop to wait if not for this girl. You're upset because you have to wait alone, izzit?"

Now you've really got my goat. So I am in the wrong for being punctual and being irritated with others who are late? This makes me really want to throw my shoes at their heads, except that today, I'm wearing my new shoes and it would be such a waste since they still wouldn't get the idea that being late is NOT socially acceptable. Duh.

So when VW heard SS' comment, VW said this.

"Next time why don't you just car pool with someone else? Saves you time and stress because you'll have to wait for others anyway. You know, my friends (the ones who arrived at 8.55am) were late because they car-pooled - some came from Klang, others from Tmn Desa so of course they will be late! And you can't expect them to be on time for an early morning appointment la. If it's a mid-morning or afternoon appointment then they might be on time. Anyway, it's not like we were rushing anywhere."

Wtf? (Sorry, I'm swearing again. It's bad, I know, but I can't help myself in the face of such... logic!) Sure, we may not have been in a hurry but it is still impolite to tell people to meet at 8.00am and then turn up 1 hour late! Might as well not put a time to meet or at least, suggest a later time if you think you won't be able to make it. I said as much to VW, who then said this...

"Aiyo, don't be so rigid la. Do you know I had a tough time with my friends because you were early? They all blamed me for not telling you that it's our practice to go yum cha first while waiting. So stressful you know? Some more I don't dare to answer your phone call..."

If I were sitting in a chair, I would have fallen off. So it's my fault that you're all stressed out and got blamed by your friends for their lateness? This is certainly something I've never heard of before! And then you can blatantly admit to me that you didn't dare to pick up my phone call because you were afraid of what I might say because you is late? I told VW outright then and there that I was sitting next to XY's Passenger - JP - when she took her call and not mine and VW looked a bit shamefaced. But still insisted:

"Next time don't be so early la. Just come later la! Save yourself all the trouble and then you won't get agitated."

I had heard enough at this point in time and bluntly said that thanks but no thanks, I didn't think there'll be a next time going out with VW and her friends. At which point in time, SS (who had been listening quietly) quickly piped up to me:

SS : "I'm definitely confirmed for our next outing on 03 May!"
Me : *shooting SS a look from the corner of my eye* "Are you sure you'll be on time and you'll call me if you're going to be late?"
SS : "Yeah, I'm not XY and besides, XY's not coming."
Me : "Huh."

And that's the lateness issue. Let me also rant about the food issue.

Out of the 12 people who went on Saturday, all of us are Chinese and there is one Malay. Naturally, you should not be so insensitive as to go to a non-halal place to eat even though the Malay is in the minority, right? We live in a multi-racial country after all. I am always looking out for the Malay because I don't like people who simply forget or ignore what others can or cannot do. This is what VW said to me.

"It was a good thing you went off for lunch with the Malay that day leh. My friends don't like Malay food and they won't eat it or go to a halal place when there's Chinese food around so the Malay would have had to sit and watch us eat or find her own food. Next time you all just split off from the rest of the group and find your own food la."

Just because you are in the majority you can ignore the minority? And it's not just a Chinese / Malay issue. Some Buddhists / Hindus don't eat beef so it is also very impolite to go and order beef dishes when you are dining with them. Come on la, it won't kill you to have to accomodate others for just one meal. But you should not ostracize people for their religious beliefs. I don't impose my dietary restrictions (mine's for health purposes) on others. Even though I can't eat certain foods, I won't say that you can't eat it in front of me. But for a Malay, the halal/non-halal issue can be quite sensitive. So it is very insensitive to me for us to go out in a group and basically go, you can't eat with us because you're a minority. And they didn't even phrase it kindly or tactfully!

I don't think I'm judging them harshly. In fact, I have tried my level best to put their words here verbatim and the incidents as they happened. I may be a bit emotionally moved right now, but my faculty of logic is not moved one iota.

12 spins:

giddy tigress said...

Chupping first and reading later...but yeah being punctual is definitely a FORTE not a FAULT.

Fattien said...

haha.. is funny to read this, I don't think punctual is a fault but a very good habbit. Maybe becoz this is Malaysia culture... Anyway thankz for dropping by my site.

giddy tigress said...

The nerve of them all to remark that way to your comments! Sheesh! They don't deserve a single ounce of respect from you....gawsh...

Tine said...

Stop hanging out with these people! Such disrespect to time indeed. Gah, just cheeses me off reading this *fuming*

L B said...

You know? That's why, after a little while, your circle of friends become smaller, but better! Dear Rinnah.. it's not worth your time to be pissed off with them. Did I say I detest bigots? :-)

Adino said...

WHAT!? So amazing la, these group of people. Trying to patronize you and shift blame to others.

The very fact that they're trying to explain thing s to you means they KNOW they were wrong, and are just trying to justify their actions.

If it were me, I would have driven off immediately to go on the trip by myself!

rinnah said...

giddy tigress: I concur!

fattien: Yeah, Malaysian culture... that's the pity about it! And thanks for dropping by my blog too!

giddy tigress: Nope, don't have respect for the people who made such remarks.

tine: Erm, how to stop hanging out with them when I have to see them everyday? VW, that is.

l b: It's the quality and not the quantity that matters, right?

adino: Bingo! The tone used was indeed very patronizing. I would've just driven off if I knew the way!

Leon said...

Amazing! I had a similar experience. Especially where I come from where musicians are perpetually late.

I hate it also playing at events because they make us start late and end later.

You know what! The worse part is they know they are wrong and they have the cheek to make us feel guilty.

I'm like so fuming I want to bite something. Hhaha.

Thanks for writing. Makes me feel human for getting mad

rinnah said...

leon: Yeah! They are in the wrong and they try to make it seem as though we are the guilty party. Hahaha, chill dude! Don't bite something (or someone). LOL.

Simple American said...

You should have just left. Find more respectful friends to spend your precious time with. D@*N them.

rinnah said...

simple american: Heya big guy! Long time no see! Yeah, a lot of people say I should've left. But I didn't know the way! Plus, I don't think I'm that brave yet. Haha.

Aron said...

Thanks for your article, pretty useful piece of writing.
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