Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Frustration, irritation and disgust

Sorry to be in such a rant-y mood, but I am feeling extremely irritated by the actions and attitude of a certain work colleague. I'm no saint myself, and God knows I've tried and tried, but I cannot help but be irritated and disgusted with his actions and attitude. Am I just being persnickety?

~ He never bothers about anyone other than himself and what he likes or what he wants to do. And he will not hesitate to try and force his opinions on others around him. E.g. He doesn't like shellfish, so he will tell anyone else eating shellfish that it's bad-tasting and unhealthy. Or when I suggested archery as an activity, he pooh-poohed the idea by saying that "Archery is stupid". Similarly when another colleague organized a bowling outing. If you don't want to join us, just say so and leave it at that la. Why go and ruin everyone else's mood by running it down just because you don't like it? Sour grapes. Ish.

~ He does away with common courtesy like "Please" and "Thank you" or "Excuse me". General politeness like "Hello" and "Goodbye" are also foreign words to him. But then again, this isn't surprising in a guy whose infamous phrase is : "Go and eat sh*t la. Don't disturb me." Oh, and I was NOT happy when he called my mom in a disrespectful manner this morning. He told me, "An old aunty called you". Hello? You're talking about my mom, okay! I don't say anything rude about your mother even though you have her face tattooed on your leg. Bleh.

~ He doesn't like to plan ahead for eventualities (he was the reason why we had some difficulty securing lodging during the Medan & Lake Toba trip) and his idea of travelling is to NOT confirm his accomodations or travel plans or transportation. That just smacks of plain ol' irresponsibility to me.

~ This is the guy who flat out blatantly lied to me about where they were during the Chiling Falls expedition. And he did the same this morning, telling me that my ex-boss' father was critically ill in hospital and close to dying. (It sounded credible because he just had a discussion to my ex-boss' husband before he said the same to me.) Guess what? It wasn't true because I checked with my ex-boss' secretary who told me that my ex-boss was at work and everything was fine. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I HATE LIARS.

~ He was invited to play basketball for the company over the weekend. He's never played basketball before in his whole life and he refused to go for the pre-game briefing. He told the organizer "I'll be there for the game but not for the briefing". When the person asked him how he intended to play without knowing the rules and whatnot, his flippant response was "How hard can it be? I'll just take the ball and run with it and knock down anyone who tries to stop me". Even if you're a basketball legend, it is not kosher to behave this way.

And that's just a quarter of his other annoying personality traits.

I don't know why, but having to face this person everyday at work just makes me go "Urgh" and I feel like smacking some common sense into his thick skull. Not that it'll change him one iota, except to hurt my own hand. I wish I could leave it well alone, but this person will come and bother me even when I'm doing my best to pointedly ignore him and not talk to him because I don't want to get upset over something that I cannot control. It's like the more I "tak layan" his antics, the more and more shocking stuff he wants to say and do. So childish!

Okay, in all fairness to him, he is a nice person when he chooses to be - practically all the stuff he bought while on holiday was for his girlfriend. He sometimes (only sometimes, mind you!) waits for the girls to go out for lunch and holds the elevator for us. When he feels like it, he belanja's the department ice-cream. But other than that... it's like sheesh! this guy could be called a jerk.

Anyone got any tips to give me on how to handle this exasperating colleague of mine?

21 spins:

giddy tigress said...

Short of just ignoring him or even better, telling him off, just grin and bear it. No point getting all worked up with a jerk like that.
I still can't understand how his girlfriend would wanna be with him.

But all that being said, I read that people like these are actually really insecure on the inside. And he is probably just using all these antics to cover up.

Doreen said...

he is just like a b*tch (excuse my language), bitching around is his hobby I think. I really hate people like this. Next time just tell him off in front of many people.

Adino said...

I can guarantee that some of your other colleagues will feel exactly the same way, but he's probably too loud or influential for them to voice up.

Just make friends with other colleagues and avoid him. Pretend he doesn't exist.

rainbow angeles said...

i also believe that he's got problem with insecurity.. just ignore him :)

L B said...

I bet he wears a bra and panties and stockings..

Ooops, I am so mean! *slaps myself*
No, I don't want to be like him at all. I shall not be so mean. And I will not wear a bra, or panties, or even stockings!!

mistipurple said...

hard to work or even breathe eh?
you have my sympathy. he is your colleague.
try to er.. offer up to HIM each time he annoys you? lol. i can think of no better way to put this suffering to better use.

adrian said...

You're serious about the tattoo of his mom's face on his leg?? Awww.. how sweet. :P

Collin said...

harro! dun let this kind of person spoil your day.

try to "simply remember your favourite things, and then you will feel al...right (sing song).." ;-D

simon said...

just tell him off, or else he'll keep doing it...

i had a bad day today, this client of ours was being super arrogant just to get us to do something free for him. well, ruined my day that's for sure...

Kenny Mah said...

Here's an idea (which may not go down all too well, but still): Instead of ignoring HIM, instead of getting frustrated at HIM, instead of wasting your valuable time and energy thinking about HIM, why not focus on yourself?


You matter more, don't you? So why not focus on you. This doesn't solve the problem, one might say. Hold on. Focus on YOU also means focusing on why YOU are so frustrated with him. He's the way he is; perhaps nothing/no one can change that (short of a lobotomy).

But YOU, but WE, we can change our reaction to people like him.

I know it sounds like mumbo-jumbo, but I do the same thing in my office whenever I get really frustrated with my colleagues. At the end of the day, I realised it's how I want to see things. I may agree with his behaviour, but I accept that is how he is. I may inform him that I don't appreciate such behaviour but I won't let his subsequent actions affect me either.

Or I'll try to lah. Easier said than done. But sikit-sikit can be done lah. And that's enough to put a smile on your face, maybe? :)

Hope you have a great weekend!

Kenny Mah said...

P.S. Correction: "I may DISagree with his behaviour..."

eastcoastlife said...

I'll grab his hair and bang his head on the table or walls. kakaka..... so violent. I also cannot tahan this type of people. I would tell him off or be real nasty to him. I don't give face to such people.

Since you have to work with him, just ignore him. He's not paying you salary.

Leon said...

Listen to Adino...he is the wisest in doing this hehehe

L B said...

We are the Champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the Champions -
We are the Champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the Champions - of Europe -

keeyit said...

I face the similar cases too.. Ai.. what to do, I just ignore them lol.. concentrate to my work...

We cant change people but we can change our attitude or feeling towards them.. Just dun make ourselves angry... cheers

rinnah said...

giddy tigress: *plasters on a grin reminiscent of the Joker in Batman* Liddat can ah? LOL. Yeah, I also dunno how his gf can stand him, but maybe he's a different person with her? I shall continue to observe and see if he is insecure or not...

doreen: Ahahaha... yeah, he thinks it's funny to be like this. I wish I had the guts to tell him off! Anyone know where I can buy some guts?

adino: How come people just put up with attitudes like that nowadays? The thing is, I hang out with the other colleagues and they invite this fella along leh... how to avoid and pretend he doesn't exist?

rainbow angeles: Trying. very. hard. to. ignore. him.

l b: Wakakakaka! Eh, he wears tinted lipbalm and colored nail polish. Does that count? ROTFL...

mistipurple: I have lots of practice in doing deep breathing exercises to keep from feeling all angsty inside. *grin*

adrian: Yeah, I'm serious about the tattoo thingy. I find it weird, actually.

collin: *sings along with collin ala Julie Andrews*

simon: How I wish I could! *thinking about the consequences* Sometimes don't you just want to tell clients to "beat it"? LOL.

kenny mah: Hehehe... I like the lobotomy part. *wicked grin* I recognize and I accept his behaviour for who he is, but do wish that he would go away and let me be... so yeah, basically my concept is he can be anything he chooses to be but just don't kacau me. Er, not that clear, hor?

eastcoastlife: I not as garang as you leh... yaloh. He's not paying my salary.

leon: No wise words of wisdom to add? Kekeke.

l b: Champions again! Hooray! *does a lap of victory with lb*

keeyit: The strangest thing is, this fella can work very well and he doesn't behave like this at all when it comes to work matters... but in his personal life... I dunno what to say.

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