IT'S. BACK.

We meet again, Mr. Cowell. And have I ever told you that I watch American Idol solely for your snarky comments and oh-so-deadpan expressions? (Do wish you would lose the man boobs though. And you don't seem to change your shirt at all.) Whether or not the producers are keeping you there for the entertainment factor of seeing how many people you manage to piss off by just being that cynical British guy. (Oh yeah, I forgot to add - sarcasm sounds so much better in a Brit accent than continuous "Yo dawg!" or "I love you. You can sing!" remarks.) Your taste is sometimes debatable (I think!), but I've come to recognize that those judgment calls you make come from an industry point of view. Sometimes a person can sing but just isn't marketable to the masses. And I think America should listen more to your advice. If they had, Melinda Doolittle would've been season 6's winner, not Jordin Sparks. (But to tell the truth, I hated it when you picked Katherine McPhee in season 5. Case of your eyes over-ruling your ears?) Then again, if I had to listen to as much bad singing as you do, I'd probably end up like Miranda in The Devil Wears Prada. Hah! But please, no more Ryan Seacrest ribbing anymore, ok? I had enough of it last season. And no Paula episodes! (Although she is the one who initiates the smooches, and not you.)

Lest anyone begins to think that this post is starting to vaguely resemble an application to the "I Love Simon Cowell fanclub", let's move on to the more interesting parts, shall we? Like how this show is supposed to find the best and the brightest singing talents in America, but also unearths all the weirdos along the way. (Seriously, with voices / looks / bad personality like that you expect to be the next Idol? Dream on la...) Or like how the show should be really about who sings best and not about who has the most marketable personality and biggest fan base. And how the human mind still judges others based upon the outward appearance more than on true singing talent. But it's not all bad.

There's the human element in it all that makes it soooo... compelling to watch. The tear-jerker tales (anyone still remember Kellie Pickler from season 4?), the super-inflated egos (that would be Scott Savol, season 3 I think), the embarassing breakdowns. The intense competition, the camaderie of contestants as they get closer to the goal of being the ultimate Idol. The emotions felt when a deserving contestant goes home. The unfairness of it all when a weaker one stays (like how Kevin-what's-his-name-aka-Chicken-Little). Being swept away by the songs they sing well and shuddering at the bad caterwauling of poor song choice. All of which feed our human appetite for two hours every week in front of the television. It's time I don't begrudge the idiot box.

Now, can anyone tell me why they scrapped Malaysian Idol? Huh?